Aki-Essays: an unmarried man captive in Odaiba (1-1-09)

Already in bed in the dim room late at night, a man, 33, was soon to end his Christmas. Lain on the floor by a bedpost, below an ugly grin, a sock [or stocking?] [I meant a sock.] with a hole in its big toe, expectantly waiting for some gift, hopefully had only a few moments. Around his fellows the conviction as to the existence of Santa Claus had dwindled to a less than infinitesimal degree, but his was alive, some portion. Ever since being told about Santa Claus for the first time, he had prepared a sock every Christmas night. While fortune had never shined on him, he still could feel excitement.

He was still awake when the long-awaited moment suddenly and finally came around: near his head the pair of expansive pink curtains was becoming brighter and brighter, struck by some sort of light from the outside, which was accompanied by a crescendo jingle of bells, both of which began to wane and eventually died out.

Thrilled, he got himself out of bed and slid the door open while wondering whether his neighbors hadn’t noticed the incident. Santa Claus was coming down from his sleigh, what was tethered to which was not reindeer but two dogs with leashes. The flabbergasted man and Santa Claus approached each other in the small backyard of his condo.

“Merry Christmas! I am G.G. Santa! Nice to meet you! But I don’t hesitate to say that you are a culprit and that I am about to arrest you!” Santa Claus bellowed out with a manly tone of his voice.

“What!? Am I a culprit!? You mean I committed any crime!? What’s the charge?” retorted the man.

“You are accused of three crimes: you have made innumerable gaffes and broke wind to inculpable others; you, the idiot, unconscionably believe that there is a Japanese nanny who resembles Roberto Carlose with Manchester United F.C. and she is capable of shopping as skillful as his ball-control; and the crucial one that you wrote an essay against marriage. So I am busting you!” As soon as the explanation ended, the thick arms of Santa Claus snatched the man, pushed him into the sack and brought it up onto the sleigh.

The jingle of bells began rising as the dogs were pulling the sleigh into the chilly night skies. The stricture around the opening of the sack was slack and allowed the man some outside view. On the sleigh now whisking he felt early on as though his neighbors were sneering at him through the almost shut openings of their curtains. Yet the altitude was high enough to let him see the dotted lights of buildings guiding to the Odaiba area.

The man got thrown out of the sack as Santa Claus tossed it to the surface, and his environment came into sight: The group had exactly traveled to the plaza in Odaiba. At a distance from them, the well-known Fuji-television building, amongst other ones, was holding its spherical symbol high in itself. Though the scene appeared as usual as it was, a towering figure made of timber was built side by side with the smaller replicated version of the Statue of Liberty. The newly-built structure looked modeled on the muscular body of G.G. Santa, which was taller than the statue by some length. The pair made the man feel as though they were staring at him.

The situation was unnervingly real: in the darkness pairs of light-reflecting eyes were fixed on him. “Sure,” gasped the man. “Odaiba is a popular place for couples especially at night.” But it was a surprise that they belonged to a variety of animals: bears, cats, rabbits and more, all standing upright. Even just the size of the population at this late time was unusual.

As well as the figure structure and the statue, those animals, with those reindogs counted, were couples. They were also eyewitnesses encircling the man’s predicament. With their sardonic and sinister eyes cast at the man, Santa Claus again snatched him, went down a curved slope and climbed up the effigy to tie him onto its face. Half a minute after the last groan of the man, those witnesses were staying quiet, attributing every perceptible sound to sea breezes.

“So, you, the defendant. You are now on trial with these engaged couples. Let me ask, are you still against marriage?” already back about the plaza Santa Claus yelled, making some agitated facial expressions, with his nose crinkled and upper lip curled, to the man.

“Definitely I am! I don’t see the point of marriage! Are there any pros? For me, a free lifestyle makes perfect sense, you see? Why? Cuz I don’t have to care for a partner nor her relatives. And I can stay liberal with money. This situation is best and ideal in today’s society. How would I be supposed to care about how to behave and what to say even at home? Are you arguing that marriage is the foundation for having kids? Do you not regard them as annoying? Why not? Don’t you know that as a matter of fact marriage doesn’t guarantee having kids? There are many couples who caaant have kids! And you know, after marriage many of them dread a divorce! That sort of life is just hell, don’t you think!?”

Appalled, Santa Claus made a predatory snarl, clenching his teeth. Subsequently, he bellowed out a question to the witnesses: “Raise your hand if you think this man deserves capital punishment!” (Technically it’s a foot though.)

In a quiet pause it seemed all of them raised their hands, as those reindogs had left the place.

“The decision is concluded! I will carry out the execution of this man for Christmas this year! If there is anyone opposed to it, make yourself known!” bawled Santa Claus.

No one moved. In the silence, from the head of the structure the man identified something bright coming from afar: one of the gone dogs was coming back with a torch attached to its back.

“In the final leg of the international relay, the torch is brought as scheduled! The fool didn’t change his mind! Put the fire on the bottom of the effigy!” commanded Santa Claus.

“Burn him! Burn him!,” the witnesses were chanting.

The dog suddenly halted ‘her’ steps, being distracted by a place which seemed suitable for urination, but she soon resumed the task, finding her partner urinating at one of the effigy’s feet in a trance.

From the bottom upward, the fire was raging. That was man-made warmth in the winter. In the scene was the female dog being embraced by Santa Claus. The male dog was wagging his tail by his feet.

“Burn him! Burn him!,” the witnesses were chanting.

The moment of it was coming true, burning of the man.

During the moment of agony, the man turned his face to the Statue of Liberty. Tears were trickling down her cheeks.

“Again, my fiance is burning. Ever since I was built here, every fiance of mine has burned down on Christmas. I was with them just for a day. You don’t understand how important a partner is? Living together even just for a limited time, I and all of my past fiances shared scenes and the weather: rain, wind, or snow. Sometimes it was harsh, but we encouraged each other. We wished ourselves a long life as a couple, but there hasn’t been such a case. Don’t you know what advantages humans have? We can’t have a baby, but it’s possible for humans! I don’t understand why there are some who can’t get over how fantastic the event is. It’s also a merit to be able to support each other.”

As she was finishing the remark, even in the unbearable situation, the man felt hints, the importance of marriage. [unsure what image you are trying to conjure here; sorry] His entrenched understanding of marriage was still hard to break, though, there was a certain change in his mindset. In reply, the night air started to breeze aggressively at the fire and suffocated it into the smolder. The man found himself left unscathed by the pedestal of the statue, though cinders were resting about there.

On Christmas next year, the statue of G.G. Santa Claus was next to his wife in Odaiba, finally in complete form not to have ended up in just the bones of logs. The newlyweds were looking in the same direction while conversing over how the man was spending time now.


“Merry Christmas! And have a good start in the new year!”