Aki-Essays: romance; about cross-gender dynamics (2-8-09)

Wake up in the morning. Go to school to study. After the classes of the day, go to a cram school to support the contents given at the main school. With this daily routine, he or she keeps up with every prerequisite to enter university--and subsequently [or “ultimately”] a company. Even after fortunately becoming an employee, he or she still needs to work to earn a living. By and large, each person is busy. While each one manages to square away such standard tasks, the chance of experiencing romance is always merely a chance, a tick of the clock. Though study or work may seem to be nearly incompatible with on-the-spot romance, loving someone must also be an important life event which people should not neglect. For students of elementary schools to universities, a romance can impart flowery memories to each lifetime whether it eventually leads to marriage. And workers are disposed to get married as a result of having a romance.

But even if people wish to undergo romance, they must consider striking a balance between their study or work and a romance, with the timing of developing a relationship factored in.

Dissociated from adults’ terms in economics (money!) average kids can experience romance rather easily with their sharper sensitivity [what do you mean?] and their specific activities. In their own sanctuary, kids can enjoy spending time with others of the opposite gender and feel satisfied just by chatting and playing free of charge. And as these activities are done on a daily basis, kids are usually granted plenty of chances to get involved with romance. To raise the possibility, or the chance, kids can meet up together even after the curriculum of the day if there are no mandatory plans. In addition, there also are special events such as an excursion, the sports day, and a school festival. These events, intended for a mass of kids, usually take place at the school or somewhere not so distant, and thus require less (or no) money from parents than activities that would amuse adults. (Although the cases mentioned above may not apply to kids in demanding private schools that are linked with prestigious universities.)

Regarding my ideas above, if there are busy kids who are urged to study hard to advance to a reputed private junior high (or one combined with a high school), they might be discontented, missing out on such precious moments of romance. What is more, some of these junior high schools (or high schools) are composed of students of a single gender. (It may sound nice for gays or lesbians, though.)

Despite educational circumstances in which they have to study hard, I hope that these kids (or adolescents) can afford to become the subject of even a fleeting romantic scene. [this idea keeps getting repeated without any developments being made on it; I would rewrite more concisely or consider removing the repetitive portions.]

Cram schools may give kids opportunities to interact with those of the opposite sex. As it would appear that both gender groups had the same/similar life goals and lifestyles around certain common interests, one might think that they should be able to cooperate together toward their nearer goals through conversations. [what do you mean?] (Co-educational private junior highs or high schools may provide the same kind of opportunities.) [this doesn’t really make sense; what are you proposing? Sounds like you may have two ideas running into one here]

Meanwhile, there are kids who prioritize club activities, putting these and study in order, over experiencing romance. In some ways club activities are primacy in school life, as in some ways romantic experiences are priceless.

But even average kids growing into adolescents are not so distinct exceptions that the increasing scholastic requirements make them concerned as to their future and increase the time to study. (Or, in some cases for club activities as they would raise the students’ appraisements on file and make it to some extent easier to enter the target school. Indeed, through club activities students cultivate key skills which will be helpful on multiple fronts in their future jobs.)

Still, hopefully, many students can deal with mandatory norms and a romance in each situation, but some exceptions: students divided into two stereotypical extreme groups, those who just study (or do club activities) and those being idle with the opposite sex. [I don’t understand what you mean by idle…]

The former minority group, hopefully or not, sacrifices making memorable moments during school days and a fair desire is to anticipate a desirable job and opportunities to have a romance, though the opening for finding and meeting someone attractive may not be as wide as expected.

For the sake of the sort of late bloomers, companies are better if they are able to help employees have meeting or dating occasions to make society happier at large, but in the absence of corporate productivity and revenues (as there are fears about the existence of the company) no such an invitation will come in. [Well--I understand this is more of an essay written on a trail of thought, rather than on a specific thesis, but I remain confused as to why you are on this tangent--you will need to provide more persuasive evidence as to why companies should be involved in the personal lives of their workers.]

So, taking those priorities into account, employees must keep maintaining or even increasing productivity, to even often have to work until late and put having a romance on the back-burner, when female regular employees are still a minority in Japan. [this sentence doesn’t make sense; what are you trying to say?] If there is consideration from companies which intend to promote the development of a relationship and help reach marriage, extra working hours are curtailed, giving the men time for meeting/seeing ladies--who perhaps have had similar academic footsteps to those of the men, as to the context--outside the office, having ramped up the size of the workforce. [a> while, again, this isn’t a formal essay, please be aware of your extreme sexual bias against women here; that can have the direct effect of alienating or even angering your reader. b> I’m still confused; you are saying that companies should become involved in the personal lives of their workers--but the reason why is unclear. Also, how are you defining “romance” in this context?] [A certain kind of delusion.] Otherwise, these men must use higher salaries and limited spare time efficiently, to find and please a girlfriend.

As a fate this sort of work sharing goes hand-in-hand with a reduction in employees’ salaries. However, unfortunately, it requires a man to spend some large amount of money to court a lady, so the measure may not be so friendly. [what do you mean by “measure”?]

On the other hand, companies may be able to hire more ladies in place of men. But regarding the general importance of smooth communication between employees for the benefit of the company, the outcomes of having a larger ratio of female employees must be unpredictable, like rolling a pair of dice, due to sophisticated dynamics operating between the sexes. [be careful: Sex, apart from the act of having it, refers to biological or physical traits that determine whether one is a man or a woman. Gender refers to society’s classification of characteristics perceived to be particular to a certain sex.]

In this situation, if a team/section composed of both male and female employees shares closer backgrounds--being that they studied hard through their school days--with less concerns about inner-circle mobility, the dice must show the office cases of good intimacy across genders with a higher incidence. [very unclear; please rephrase] In this case, having a romance in the office is a possible option with steady concentration in working, good manners and little trouble.

On the contrary, if competitive men need to work together with average ladies from a more ordinary path but in the same or some close position, the dice may roll unfavorably: there may not be middle ground between the two groups, a situation that could destroy the office atmosphere. [actually, I don’t fully understand what you mean by your explanation in this paragraph. You speak of a certain dynamic between men and women that companies should foster. But the way you have painted it, well…it sounds as though people inherently lack common sense, and that they lack any emotional aptitude whatsoever. I think there’s much more to this story; remember before, about the people you said who just played around with romance during school? What of them, they never got jobs? The basic operating assumption here is that people are, once cast in some form, slated to stay in that form forever; I don’t think it’s that simple. Please offer a convincing counterargument.]

However, there possibly are mediators who have studied fairly hard and graduated from a renowned university and are able to have nice communication with both groups of people, those from a top-notch path and those from an average one. In most of the cases I know, those parents played an important role as average citizens, paying tuition fees for the class at their children’s schools and teaching them people skills at home, while their children not only studied fairly a lot but also had communication with their friends, which covered romantic experiences. The presence of this kind of mediators seems to make a situation ideal. [I don’t clearly understand your thoughts here... who are these mediators? What do they mediate? And why?]

At any rate, Valentine’s day is approaching. For ladies it must sound nice that just preparing chocolate could lead to the initial step in developing a relationship with someone they like the most. Have you decided whom to serve chocolate and where? Please give me even a tiniest piece of it as your obligation. [Actually, from a sociocultural perspective, I find it extraordinarily intriguing that “Valentine’s Day” is so one-sided in Japan; in all other cultures that celebrate the day, it’s a mutual exchange, from women to men as much as it is from men to women. It strikes me as odd that Japan must have two holidays [V-Day and White Day] to foster reciprocity. Or perhaps chocolate companies are far, far too greedy.]